It is easy to see betrayal when a family member or friend ignores what is in their best interest. You can clearly see when they put their creativity on the back burner, to not make waves, to not threaten a partner or create anxiety in themselves or the family.
Seeing the truth of what others are doing to themselves…that my friends is awareness. Why is it easier to see other’s denial but in ourselves not so much?
We are ill-prepared to witness betrayals of self. Sometimes the unease about not being true to ourselves peeks its head up through our denial or illusions, but more often than not we suppress. We stay asleep, do not question and plow forward.
The level of suppression that it takes to keep our life story and denial in place is exhausting. If we do not ask questions about our unease, if we do not call it by its true name we somehow believe that we can slide through life without feeling the pain and numbness.
The gnawing however does not go away, and denial does not help. In the dark of the night when we toss and turn, the pressure of denial is hard to shake.
When have you betrayed yourself to be there for another?
Can you betray others to be faithful to your own soul?
To break with the unspoken rules, the relentless conditioning that influences women not to risk; to avoid making others uncomfortable, to be true to self is not an easy choice. It is however a choice that hopefully at some time you feel in your bones you have to make. Some choices are too painful not to make.
As I reflect on the ways we have been stung, dismissed, betrayed by others and ourselves we have too often normalized behaviors, denied our pain; ours and others to keep going.
I hurt when I see women and myself deny our value, our beauty, our willingness, our strength, our creativity to name just a few of our gifts. Each and every one of us has gifts to share and if we stay in denial and do not value our unique and different gifts they will be lost to the world.
Our new Feminine Template rising in the world… that is coursing through our hearts and minds at this very moment gives me hope that we will nail our courage to the sticking place; to stand up and be counted and in doing so to love ourselves enough to save ourselves and Mother Earth.
The following poem by Sue Griffin embodies the dilemma women have been putting up with for so many centuries to greater and lesser degrees, Paralleling with our Earth Mother it is time for nurturing care on both counts.
A poem by Sue Griffin, an eco-Feminist addresses the depth and rich tapestry of our Mother Earth. She draws parallels between the destruction of Nature and the Inequality of Women and Racial Discrimination.
“As I go into the Earth, she pierces me, she pierces my heart. As I penetrate further, she unveils me. When I have reached her center, I am weeping openly. I have known her all my life, yet she reveals stories to me, and these stories are revelation and I am transformed. Each time I go to her I am born like this. Her renewal washes over me endlessly, her wounds caress me, I become aware of all that has come between us, of the noise between us, the blindness, of something sleeping between us. Now my body reaches out to her. They speak effortlessly, and I learn at no instant does she fail me in her presence. She is delicate as I am, I know her sentience, I feel her pain and my own pain comes into me, and my own pain grows large and I grasp this pain with my hands, and I open my mouth to this pain, I taste, I know, and I know why she goes on, under great weight, with great thirst, in drought, in starvation, with intelligence in every act does she survive disaster.
The Earth is my sister, I love her daily grace, her silent daring, and how loved I am how we admire this strength in each other, all that we have lost, all that we have suffered, all that we know: we are stunned by this beauty, and I do not forget what she is to me, what I am to her.” -Susan Griffin from Working with Oneness Facebook page
In order for Women to stop betraying themselves, it is critical they face their level of denial, come up into the light of awareness on the road to acceptance.
Do you want to know how and where to begin? Do you want to stop betraying yourself? Join me for an online eCourse at 7 pm CT February 16th and 23rd. Self-Love Is Not Selfish
I can’t say that I am surprised or confused as to why the Self-Love or Self-Compassion quotient is low in Women.
Being a woman, older and some wiser now, I am able to see things in a bigger frame personally and professionally. My work offers you ways to identify and heal what you find. Check out my Self-Help Articles or drop me a line.
“You are not meant for crawling, so don’t. You have wings. Learn to use them and fly”…Rumi
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