How many times during this crisis have you heard some version of the above?
I’ve had clients raw with grief or despair make this statement with every fiber of their being, wanting somehow to get back to the before crisis state. No matter what this statement is about; a positive test for the virus, loss of relationship, death of loved one, job loss, or health loss, the answer is pretty much the same.
My heart aches because I know how it is to cross the threshold of loss. I also know that there is no going back. The truth is that “It will never be the same”. It will be different, and in time it can be better, but it will not; cannot be the same.
Cut off at the knees by sorrow or incredible loss of so much that we have depended on or hold dear, there’s confusion, fear, and sadness. Even those of us who have not experienced intense suffering in 2020 have undergone challenges for which there could be no preparation.
It continues however to be a forced interruption of business as usual. If we would allow ourselves to be still during this time of uncertainty; to create space and to have self-compassion a profound inner shift could take place. Moments as we are going through can open us up for reflection giving us the opportunity finally to make that “course correction.”
If we stop clinging to the possibility of going back to the way it was, and allow the losses and changes to settle in, we create a space for acceptance. Acceptance is the beginning platform for healing. We do not like it, but we accept the reality of what is.
There are people who will never forget today!
Sometimes life as we know it can swiftly change in a minute. Personal tsunamis can happen in an instant. Each one of us has a story, our threshold of change that came swiftly, ready or not.
This state or period is often referred to “The Dark Night of the Soul”. It is a time whereby the pain is intense enough to cut through our denials and illusions to become aware of what is really important and how to spend more time in Love and Gratitude for all that we have.
The pain of grief, fear and despair creates a space for an inner deepening to occur. In this moment of pain we can actually thread the eye of the needle and be propelled into a higher level of consciousness that may never happen through the everyday straight line, uneventful living. This offers great opportunity to use a horrible experience for the greater good.
Some people experience transformation without being weighed down by the pain or having to endure a crisis. Most of us do not. We keep putting of the changes that we need to make until… until…
There are no guarantees here. One has to proceed without any idea of what it will look like when we emerge from this tunnel of darkness. It may not look at all like society’s idea of how it should be therefore we have to choose to go against prevailing norms to create anew.
Cast a vigilant eye over your life as it is now. Where has it become stagnant? Where do you need healing? The risk you take to grow will bring you peace and rewards that others may deem magical.