The Power of the Pause:

Understand Your Old Story’s Limitations … in order to make space and Create a New Story!


Over the last few weeks, I have examined and offered possibilities as to how many ways your freedom, self-love, self-compassion got comprised or lost to you. Usually, this happens to some degree for all of us due to the downloading of others’ faulty beliefs before we are of the age of reason about 7 years. By the time we are able to question the process, we have most likely normalized what we were given as the truth and don’t know what questions to ask.

Since my desire is to ask you to take action in changing your old and limiting story why then am asking you to get still: to pause? 

Planes pause before they soar into the beauty and freedom of flight.

Imagine if you will, the plane not pausing, but taking off willy nilly into the sky without a plan as to how/where it will soar.

Pausing or getting still is Step #1: A most important step!

What I know for sure is that once you accept and practice this step, the rest of our journey will flow, and success can be yours beyond your wildest dreams. But you must stop doing things your usual way of doing, ploughing ahead without stopping to review where you are right now versus where you desire and deserve to be.
Women say to me: What do I do next? I don’t know what to do! Right now, my answer is ‘do nothing.” It is time to be still and review your Life Story up to now. Time to contemplate and write down what is working for you and what is not. For instance, your career choice may be successful; however, your relationships may be suffering.

“Tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” (Mary Oliver)

Pause and remind yourself, “I give myself permission to stop and actually see what I am doing and how to change what is necessary and what I can. Imagine if you had the time that you spend treating yourself poorly in thought or deed: time available for joy, peace, happiness, really living?

Simple right? Why is it so hard to do?

The pausing? It is precisely because of its power of stillness and reflection that many are fearful of getting still and reviewing their lives as they are right now at this moment, not as you wish them to be.

“Are you asking me to be still a woman asked? “Oh no! I can’t or won’t do that”. When asked why not, she told me she was afraid of what would happen. “I need to make changes: I know that part, but if I ever started it would never stop; It would be endless. I am afraid to start. I don’t want to start digging and besides when I get quiet, I feel uneasy and really bad”.

Added to our fears, are our culture’s pressures pushing us to stay busy, prove our worth, compete in order to find our rightful? place in the pecking order. And never let up because we may lose our so-called rating, both personal and public. Women have difficulty ignoring such pressures because not realizing the deep intrinsic need for self-care tend to feel selfish, when they stop to consider their own needs.

So, what really happens when we go mindlessly into the next project, the next project, or the next decade without reviewing our story: Without fully understanding why you are lonely, anxious, depressed, sad, angry, tired, sleep deprived, love starved, anxious, or avoiding sex? Stillness then is not a luxury but an absolute necessity for you to realize you count and your energy, love, compassion, curiosity and gifts are critically needed in this complex world today …more than ever.

Getting still is an act of kindness toward ourselves.

This powerful space allows us to become fully aware of all aspects of our story and towards accepting what is. We have to accept what is, to become actively involved in what needs to change within and without. Our usual headlong busyness cannot work. We have done this before. What happened? It is harmful to our sense of personal power or our confidence whether we realize it or not.

Another reason to stop is to realize if we do not make contemplation and review a part of our life story, we tend to mindlessly practice the opposite. For instance, every time we get angry without awareness, we reinforce the anger habit. Every time we numb our feelings with fear or food, we get better at it and apt to get more entrenched in the habit.

I ask you to begin by pausing by devoting a journal to review your Life Story what is now, and what you desire. Date every entry even if you think it is insignificant. Nothing about your story and struggle is insignificant.

Planes pause before they soar into the beauty and freedom of flight. You can have mastery and freedom. 

Our next step will examine the incredible power that we have right at our fingertips to interrupt patterns and nail down elusive ideas that may hold a wealth of creativity. This in turn makes our journey come to life more richly and show up as a new story to bring us self-love and happiness with compassion for ourselves knowing that there is no perfection. We are all a work in progress. I will examine with you how that power is available for creating a “new” Life Story once we commit to using a Journal on our own behalf.

Blessings, Laura

P.S. – If you are ready to pause but not quite sure where to start, I have created free Guided Relaxation and Guided Meditations audios. Download today and move into a calm, relaxed state. 

Laura B Young

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